Team Teagan Update | Mar 2008
"Remembering" Can you remember where you were on this day last year? What you were doing? Thinking? Who you were with? As you will see from the thoughts Holly wrote below, this day has been burned into our eternal memories... And today, we hugged our Teagan just a little lomger, smiled a bit brighter when we saw her, and certainly looked to the heavens with appreciation and gratitude a few more times than usual... Be Well... OK Holly take it away!
March 9th â Life Changing A year ago today, Teagan's heart stopped... and as it did, I felt that mine had also. I sit here right now with so much gratitude and praise to God for saving my child... for saving ME! March 9th, 2007 became the absolute WORST day of my life... not July 1st, 2005 (Down syndrome diagnosis day) or even February 21st, 2007 (Leukemia diagnosis day)... this was the day the doctors' said "if she makes it through the night..."
The night I watched the ventilator breathe for her, with all the tubes coming out of her little body and restraints on her arms. The night I looked into her scared eyes, watched her thrashing around on the bed, trying to calm her. The night I held my breath every time the alarms started going off. The night I longed to hold her and pretend this was just a dream. The night that seemed to last for days... I'll never forget the kind nurse that first night in the PICU. I kept saying I wish I could just hold my baby and finally she told me to scoot my reclining chair over to the bed. She carefully picked up my little angel and placed her gently in my arms. Teagan immediately stopped struggling and fell asleep. I immediately felt peace. I knew that God could not take this precious gift from me. About an hour later, the nurse roused me and said that we need to get her back in bed before the doctors come in. I am so grateful that she "bent" the rules... I donât know if I ever thanked her...
People always talk about events that were life changing. Now I know what that means. I now look at my beautiful kids and REALLY thank God every day for them. Now I look at my husband and know I could not have survived without him. I am so blessed to have them all and I pray that I never take them for granted, not for even a day. I truly feel that God blessed us with Teagan to teach us many things... love, patience, priorities, gratitude, awe and true joy.
Teagan completes our family and she IS true joy! Thank you God!
Love, Holly